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Posts Tagged ‘wedding vows’

Isn’t there a saying that laughter is the best medicine? In a very unscientific way, I declare it the truth.

Sometimes we take ourselves entirely too seriously. My husband and I laugh often. We can already laugh about the wedding. Like how long it took us to plan the drinks list. We carefully named some drinks after friends in the wedding party. We discovered – after the wedding – that we’d misspelled the last name of the Chief Wonderful Woman (laughing, but still sorry!) We can laugh at the venue’s bad jokes about putting the “boys” in the bank vault before the wedding. We can laugh that the venue put a waitress in charge of me when the ceremony started. She actually said to me, “I’m in charge of making sure you actually walk down the aisle and don’t run away.” Earlier, we laughed about how our first date was on April Fool’s Day three and a half years ago.

We are even allowed to giggle at the seriousness of this union. Why not? Why not laugh at what is expected of us and what we decide to actually do?  Someone recently told me that when she first moved in with her husband, she couldn’t stand how messy he was. He left his dirty socks all over the apartment. After endless conversations and some fights, she decided to laugh about it. She took out her camera and photographed all the funny places the socks ended up – from the bathroom to the kitchen counter. She and her husband had a hearty laugh about it and then compromised about how to keep their home. 

Gregory Corso’s poem Marriage, which I briefly discuss in yesterday’s post  makes me laugh. You can read the poem here. His second stanza made me giggle in the library chair:

When she introduces me to her parents 
back straightened, hair finally combed, strangled by a tie, 
should I sit knees together on their 3rd degree sofa 
and not ask Where’s the bathroom? 
How else to feel other than I am, 
often thinking Flash Gordon soap– 
O how terrible it must be for a young man 
seated before a family and the family thinking 
We never saw him before! He wants our Mary Lou! 
After tea and homemade cookies they ask What do you do for a living? 
Should I tell them? Would they like me then? 
Say All right get married, we’re losing a daughter 
but we’re gaining a son– 
And should I then ask Where’s the bathroom?

We take ourselves so damn seriously, from the courtship to the wedding vows. I think we all know, deep down, that we are in love when we find someone who can make us laugh.

In our vows, my husband and I named things that the other represents for us. It turns out I am his scotch and he is my zucchini flower. We smiled when we said it and some of the guests laughed with surprise. 

In all humor there is some seriousness. Scotch is my husband’s favorite drink and he takes it seriously. I have never turned down a fried zucchini flower, either made by distant relatives in Italy or my mother in New Jersey. We meant what we said.

A writer friend asked me recently why I haven’t written a blog post about what it means to be married. What it feels like on the other side. I think I don’t entirely know yet. We are happy to be married, relieved to no longer be wedding planning and generally just enjoying ourselves. 

This is the life!

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I recently guest blogged for BravoBride. I invite you to read my piece Writing your own wedding vows: To Have, and to hold, and … {fill in the blank.}

Thanks, Susan, for the opportunity. Read more about BravoBride here.

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WordArrangement wants to hear from you. What was the best wedding you ever attended? What was the wonderful detail that stole your heart?

Here are some of my favorite memories from recent years:

I was a bridesmaid for my friend Robin. Standing so close to her while she said her vows was a beautiful thing. I loved being able to see her face while she looked lovingly at her new husband.

At my friends Christa and Jas’ wedding, they had a webcam broadcasting the wedding to his family in Europe. Technology was able to make two worlds one.

Jennie and Matt said their vows in unison. Their “togetherness” was unforgetable. They never stopped looking at each other.

 

Here are Adam Furgang’s thoughts:

The best wedding I was ever at, other than my own of course, was my old bosses wedding. It was held at the Oheka Castle on Long Island.

I have never been to a nicer wedding and eaten so well. There was a lobster bar, a sushi bar, drink bar, tai bar, and just about every bar you can think of. The grounds were so beautiful too.

I was also at a beautiful wedding in Washington DC that took place at the Mayflower Hotel. That was where Eliot Spitzer took his “lady of the night” before he was ousted from office. For all I know I may have stayed in the same room he did. That place was beautiful too, as was the wedding.

 

Here are Elizabeth Schaar Bergan’s thoughts:

The best wedding I attended (aside from my own, LOL) was Kim White Garcia’s wedding at Airlie in Warrenton, VA. Not only was it a complete fairytale,  BUT she flew in the singer Jeffrey Gains as a suprise to her husband. He sang “In Your Eyes” and “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”. It was like a dream.

Here are Ann Keeler Evans’ thoughts:

Mine was the best! Was it the flower fairies or the dancer? Never sure. The 14 bands? The art work that everyone donated? Amazing. I sure do love making ritual. But the evening wedding along a swedish lake during long swedish night season and the procession through a small mexican town following huge bride and groom dolls were pretty great as well!

 

Here are Celia Milton’s thoughts:

 

Boy,Chloe, that is such a hard one to pick (since I have about 300 to pick from, lol…..) . One recent one stands out in my mind; a wedding in a raw prison, on a damp winter night in Jersey.

Six of us, thoroughly frisked, metal detected, x-rayed and patted down entered through the reels of thorned wire and electrified gates. The backdrop, the ceremony space, was the visiting room. Paintings of tropical landscapes, contributed by other inmates, adorned the walls between the notices of “the rules for visitation”.

I performed the ceremony joining these two amazing partners, with an fellow inmate taking Polaroids of the service, we signed the license and put our coats to leave, but before we die, the groom had us all join hands so he could lead us in a prayer service, asking Jesus, to, among other things, lead me back to the parway. All the miles of tuille, champagne toasts, pasta stations, string quartets…..nothing compares to the emotion &love that I felt in that gritty room.

Please use the comments section to share your thoughts.

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Personalized Wedding Poems by Chloé Yelena Miller can be given or read in a number of ways. Here are some suggestions:

 

Y Read the poem as a toast at the rehearsal dinner or during the reception

 

YIntegrate the poem into the ceremony

 

YInclude all or part of the poem in the vows

 

YPrint and frame the poem as a gift for the couple

 

YUse the poem in the invitation or save-the-date

 

YDisplay the poem during the reception or cocktail hour.

 

YAdd the poem to the ceremony program

 

YInclude the poem on the wedding website

 

YHave the poem printed on wedding day favors

 

YInsert the poem into the thank you cards

 

YGive the poem later as an anniversary gift

 

YOffer the poem to your partner as a part of the bride or groom present

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