Modern Love in the New York Times: Gay marriage, gender roles and the wife/wives

Sunday’s Modern Love article, Once Political, Now Just Practical, by Sara Sarasohn, went beyond the gay marriage debate and dove into the role of a wife (in the context of feminism and gay marriage.) I enjoyed reading her contemporary and personal response to the 1971, Ms. Magazine essay by Judy Syfers, “Why I Want a Wife.”

If you are married or considering getting married, how do you define your roles?

I sometimes lament the fact my actions and interests are more “feminine” than I expect. (I cook, write poetry and teach. I tend to do many of the chores around the house.) I do not consider myself to be a “traditional” woman, yet, I might be more traditional that I would label myself.  

This morning over breakfast, my fiance’ and I discussed what untraditional things I do or could do if I wanted to. I couldn’t think of something that would fit in that category that I would aspire to doing.

Are we lucky enough to live in an era when everything is open to women? Perhaps everything is an option for women who are lucky enough to have certain educational opportunities, but there are many fields that remain difficult for a woman. I have experienced sexism throughout my career and outside of the home (that’s for another post.) At home, however, I don’t feel pressured into doing anything in particular. I truly enjoy many of the “traditional” things that I do (ok, maybe not dusting.)

Maybe the question is: how does the world see me? I would hate to have my actions suggest to a younger woman that she is required to do the things that I choose to do.

I hope that our post-feminist world, as it is called at times, allows us to make the choices we want to, including those within the more traditional realm.

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Proposal Season? (Or, Love and The New York Times)

Wedding experts say that at least a third of all proposals occur over the holidays. That’s a lot of proposals.

 

I wonder how they will happen and how the couples met.

 

Who doesn’t enjoy reading love stories? It can be embarrassing, though, to read them in a fashion magazine filled with makeup and wedding diet tips. We need to keep up our guise of being well-read, educated folks, right?

 

That’s where the New York Times and the Styles section fits in. From the Modern Love column to the Weddings and Celebrations,everything is well-written and gives you that love story fix. And better yet, you can keep up appearances by reading up on these stories in the liberal Times.

 

While we might not want to admit it, I imagine most of us would love to be featured in the Weddings and Celebrations column. A picture of you and your beloved and a snippet about the wedding… what could be better? Here is the list of rules and regulations. I fear that the key might be certain connections to schools, businesses and the media, but… you never know. It has been open to same sex couples for some time and perhaps it will be opened up to less connected folks in the future, too.

 

Recently, there was a great article about traditions and customs from various cultures. You might find that interesting and it may help you to better plan or attend an upcoming wedding.

 

Advice:

Check out the Sunday Style’s Section of The New York Times. Maybe you’ll see someone you know under the Weddings and Celebrations.

 

Where do you get your fix of love stories? You are welcome to post your suggestions under Comments.

 

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