Call for Submissions: Essay Anthology by Women in Jewish Interfaith Relationships

My friend Hila Ratzabi is putting together an essay anthology by women in Jewish interfaith relationships. You might remember reading her piece recently on this subject that I blogged about.  She is the perfect editor for an anthology like this.

Following is her call for submissions. For more information, please, contact her directly. You can also read some of her work on her blog.

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Call for Submissions: Essay Anthology by Women in Jewish Interfaith Relationships
I am a graduate of the MFA in Writing program at Sarah Lawrence College and am developing an essay anthology that will feature essays by women who are in (or have been in) an interfaith relationship or marriage, in which one of the partners is Jewish (the contributors may be the Jewish or non-Jewish partner). An amorphous body of this literature is floating around the internet, notably on the website interfaithfamily.com. Sociology books on the topic of Jewish intermarriage abound, as do practical guidebooks for marriage and parenting. But what is often missing from the existing literature are human stories. This collection of personal essays will focus specifically on women’s stories, about the joys and challenges of their relationships, their experiences with child-rearing, how they relate to their communities and families, how they create their own identities in the unique “liminal zone” of the interfaith relationship.
I am looking for, first and foremost, great, well-written, vivid personal stories. I welcome published and unpublished authors to submit their essays/stories. The length may be 1,000-2,000 words (but I am open to any reasonable length, shorter or longer). The tone/style should not be polemical or sentimental, just an honest and compelling non-fiction personal narrative. (You may want to take a look at the excellent anthology, Half/Life, edited by Laurel Snyder and published by Soft Skull Press, which features the stories of adults who were raised in Jewish interfaith homes.) 

Notes:
– I’m focusing only on Jewish interfaith relationships, because the phenomenon in the Jewish community takes on a very particular valence that distinguishes it from the phenomenon in other communities, even as there may be some overlap.

– There are many wonderful narratives told by men in interfaith relationships, but I believe it is important to highlight women in this particular anthology. An anthology of men’s essays would be a separate project.

– I invite queer women to submit—you may deserve your own anthology as well, but your interfaith experiences probably have much in common with those of heterosexual women.

– We often hear about Jewish-Christian interfaith relationships—I would love to hear from those in relationships where the non-Jewish partner is also non-Christian.

– For those of you who are poets and fiction writers, I’m looking only for non-fiction, and I love non-fiction written by poets and fiction writers.

– If you consider your relationship inter-something other than faith (culture, race), and one partner identifies as Jewish, I want to hear from you, too.

– I do not have a publisher yet, but I solemnly promise to get one. And I hope to pay contributors.

Please send submissions as a Word attachment (not .docx) to interfaithessay@gmail.com. Submissions will be accepted on a rolling basis through May 1st, 2010—earlier is better, though. Include your name, a short bio, and email address. Responses will be sent by September 1st, 2010. Thank you, and I look forward to reading your stories! 

Hila Ratzabi, Editor

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Interfaith Love

Less than a week after our wedding, I am brimming with images and impressions of the wedding and our new married state. I’m not sure that those ideas are ready for organized sentences just yet. Soon. I promise.

Today, I’d like to share an essay my friend Hila Ratzabi wrote about her interfaith relationship. The essay, “Invisible Revisions: One Jewish Perspective on Interfaith Relationships” is a beautiful piece. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

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Here’s to hoping that a bridal shower isn’t only about tacky games outlining the couple’s make-out history …

How many of you have been to a wedding shower where you were asked embarrassing questions about where the couple first made out? Or forced to listen to the bride gloat about “her” china? A girl could go crazy wrapped up in an afternoon of tulle.

You might think I lack all romance. Maybe, but I prefer to think that I am drawn to more sincere, unique events. 

First, let me share some fond memories of bridal showers. I remember my friend Robin’s bridal shower was in her parents’ living room. All of the guests were comfortable on the couches and got swept up into Robin’s larger than life smile. She was marrying her true love.

Remembering that beautiful day, Robin writes, “I really loved my shower because it was so very relaxed. Being in my parents home, and ensuring that everyone was comfortable and having discussions really made it more enjoyable for me.  I didn’t really want to open up gift after gift. I’ve sat through it so many times and thought it was quite boring because the bride can tend to go on and on about how they picked each present. However, as I was opening the presents, realized that I could make it about the people who were giving me the gifts. For example, I mentioned how we met, why I thought that they are so wonderful, etc.  That really made it a celebration of our love and friendships, versus an opening of a bunch of stuff that we had picked out ourselves!”

My friend Christa’s bridal shower was in a lovely restaurant. In a small, private room, we gathered around a large table and shared stories. I was happy to be reunited with some graduate school friends and we had a great time. Besides sharing the bride’s happy day, weddings and wedding events are a time to get together with friends. 

Planning a bridal shower can be daunting. I asked around and found some solid advice to share with you.

Hila, a recent maid of honor, writes, “The two games that I planned were nice but not too cheesy: a trivia game where you ask the bride and groom questions about each other in advance and then compare their answers at the shower and see how they did. The other was to have everyone at the shower write advice for the bride, but each piece of advice started with a letter of the bride and groom’s names– I compiled the advice into a hand-made little book shaped like a heart, with each letter glued on in yarn—‘cause the bride was a knitter! Then we had the bride read the advice (both heartwarming and embarrassing) out loud at the shower. Also, I refused to make her wear that horrible hat. I think she appreciated it.” Great ideas, Hila! 

Another unique way to incorporate your own thoughts and words comes from Marni, the owner and artist from Creative Custom Cardboxes  (and a member of the Weddings by Artists Network) is a custom card box filled with wishes. A “Shower Her With Wishes” box is handmade and could be filled with personalized sentiments from the guests and bridal party alike. You might enjoy reading posts on her blog about wedding showers for some more ideas.

My friend Yasmin, who is leading my “bridesmaids” (I have renamed them “Wonderful Women of The Wedding”, since I think having “maids” sounds a bit outdated) recommends this book: Bridesmaid Guide by Kate Chynoweth. She adds, “probably none of the guides are perfect since taste is so variable, but they touch on lots of ideas.”

I know it is tradition to cover a hat with ribbons from the presents that the bride opens. I’ve always found this endearing. Maybe this sentiment is a bit contradictory, since I usually bristle when faced with more traditional aspects of weddings, but this handmade object is always overflowing with love. As long as the bridesmaid in charge of tying, stapling or gluing the ribbons isn’t being yelled at by family members and start to cry (which I’ve seen), I think this is a sweet tradition.

If you are planning a bridal shower, I hope these few ideas help to get you started. Feel free to share great ideas you’ve experienced or are planning below in the comments section. 

 

PS: Hats off to Yasmin for all of her hard work!

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