Sunday’s Modern Love article, Once Political, Now Just Practical, by Sara Sarasohn, went beyond the gay marriage debate and dove into the role of a wife (in the context of feminism and gay marriage.) I enjoyed reading her contemporary and personal response to the 1971, Ms. Magazine essay by Judy Syfers, “Why I Want a Wife.”
If you are married or considering getting married, how do you define your roles?
I sometimes lament the fact my actions and interests are more “feminine” than I expect. (I cook, write poetry and teach. I tend to do many of the chores around the house.) I do not consider myself to be a “traditional” woman, yet, I might be more traditional that I would label myself.
This morning over breakfast, my fiance’ and I discussed what untraditional things I do or could do if I wanted to. I couldn’t think of something that would fit in that category that I would aspire to doing.
Are we lucky enough to live in an era when everything is open to women? Perhaps everything is an option for women who are lucky enough to have certain educational opportunities, but there are many fields that remain difficult for a woman. I have experienced sexism throughout my career and outside of the home (that’s for another post.) At home, however, I don’t feel pressured into doing anything in particular. I truly enjoy many of the “traditional” things that I do (ok, maybe not dusting.)
Maybe the question is: how does the world see me? I would hate to have my actions suggest to a younger woman that she is required to do the things that I choose to do.
I hope that our post-feminist world, as it is called at times, allows us to make the choices we want to, including those within the more traditional realm.
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