Something Green: A Green Guide for the Modern Hostess

My friend Angela has an amazing new blog, Something Green.  Learn all about the tricks and products to help make your event more green from holiday stockings to renewal candles. Don’t miss the Green Glossary and Green Directory. She has been involved in the event and writing businesses for years. She’s the expert you’ve been looking for!

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Black Eyed Susies: The florist who didn’t flinch when we mentioned artichokes, herbs and a red dress

We are still a bit in love with our florist, Susie from Black Eyed Susie’s . When my mom and I first met her in her small storefront located in River Edge, I knew she was for us.

Filled with energy, creativity, good ideas and best of all, a sense of humor, she immediately understood our “less-weddingy approach to our wedding.” I didn’t want white flowers or roses. I did want colors that matched my currant-red dress, but I wasn’t sure which ones. I needed input from an expert. She pulled out books with flowers and swatches and walked us through the whole thing, all the while taking notes.

After one meeting, Susie crafted a vision that fit our space (very tall ceilings, art deco look) and the color of my gown.

It was important to me to include food, beyond berries, in the floral decorations. My mother grew artichokes over the summer, dried them and Susie used them in my bouquet. Then, Susie used other artichokes in glass bowls and potted herbs in the cocktail hour space. She even sent us a website with the herbs listed so we could choose ones that we liked. I loved that I could be so involved in the process and help to personalize each detail.

Since it was a fall wedding, I had the vague idea of branches and berries. She used curly willow in the ceremony room, and elsewhere, and included even branches in the table centerpieces. We couldn’t decide between the two beautiful samples she created and ended up doing half and half. That’s how good she is.

The Wonderful Women carried orchids that sprayed down against their black dresses. The men had matching boutonnieres and Susie was able to match my dress exactly for my groom’s flower.

Susie gave my mom instructions on how to dry my bouquet and from my mother’s account in distant NJ, it looks great. My mom was also able to return to the venue after the wedding and pick up the flowers that were left behind by the guests. She has been enjoying arranging them at home. I look forward to driving them to our new apartment on the East coast after we move next summer.

I highly recommend Susie to anyone looking to add a creative and natural touch to their setting. Unlike the other florists who gave me quotes very far outside of my budget, she fit our budget, asked questions and responded quickly when we had questions. Simply put, she is an artist who is fun to talk to.

Thank you, Susie.

Susie is a member of The Weddings By Artists Network as is photographer Tony Richards, who took these photographs.

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Donate to The Young New Yorkers Chorus

One of my dearest friends, Melvin Coston, sings in The Young New Yorkers Chorus. While I’ve sadly never been able to enjoy a concert, he has told me about how much he enjoys the chorus for years. 

A non-profit organization, they are seeking donations.

YNYC was started in 2001 as a way for interested volunteer singers to continue their training (in many cases) and simple love of singing beyond their college years. Each year, they perform three concerts over the course of our season, with the holiday concert typically being the biggest and most celebrated. 

In addition to performing both classical and contemporary choral pieces from all parts of the world, they also conduct a Young Composers competition each year to support and encourage music composers in the development of their craft. The finalists’ submitted works are performed for the first time at the final concert of the every season.

Although they have enjoyed an ever-increasing following and last year saw a record turnout at all our concerts, donations allow them to have consistent rehearsal space, quality concert space and most importantly, the continuation of the Young Composers Competition. Donations are a key financial component to making all of this possible each year.

YNYC is a non-profit organization. All monies go to the necessary functions of the Chorus.

I hope that you’ll take a moment to check out their website. You can hear audio samples, learn about auditions and consider them for your wedding.

See you later! I’m off to donate. Even though I can’t give too much, we all know how every little bit counts.

Support the arts.

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Fading Light

We could easily slip into the winter blues – early – with darker days. Not my mother! Melabee Miller blogs this month about finding beauty in the changing light. Enjoy!

Don’t forget to click on her blogroll on the right side of the page to see her photocubes.

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Library Wedding

junebug weddings blogged about our friends’ Megan and Kevin’s wedding in  the Seattle Library.

Saying your vows in front of your closest friends and favorite books? Wow. What a great idea!

Read the blog for more photos and details on their colorful and literary wedding.

PS: Yes, yes, Carrie Bradshaw got married in a city library. Megan and Kevin’s wedding was much more personal and beautiful.

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Sign In Book

As a writer, the sign-in book was an important part of our wedding planning. Happily, I am still quite in love with our sign-in book. It was made to order by Kristin Crane, an artist on Etsy. She even blogged about it!

In the beginning, we looked closely at books in the wedding section of stores and, like Goldilocks, found they were too this or too that. Mostly, they were too ugly.

We decided that we wanted something with a travel theme on it. We were naming our reception tables after bridges (both for the metaphor that a bridge offers and the significance of the various bridges in our lives) and thought the book should match, at least loosely.

Kristin Crane has a number of handmade and hand bound travel journals. We found a New York City map and she positioned it exactly right so that a few key places were on the cover (including Union Square, where we met for our first date.) Along the way, she showed us the progress of the book in case we wanted to make any changes.

It is perfectly made and exactly what we ordered. 

We placed it on the table with the seating cards, to help make sure everyone noticed it since it isn’t as big as a usual sign-in book. As a creative person, I thought it would be fun if we put colored markers next to the book so that the adults and children alike could draw in the book if they wanted to. My husband collects mugs from universities where he has given professional talks and we chose the Georgetown University mug for the pens. (He is currently on leave from GU while he is a fellow at the University of Michigan).

We are happy to report that we received some beautiful drawings and words that we will treasure forever. The book is about 2/3 empty. We are going to save it (of course) and use it for future milestone events.

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Wedding hairpiece

When I was thinking about how to do my hair for the wedding, I fell in love with a Swarovski crystal hair vine that I saw in a bridal magazine. A hair vine is a swiggly piece for your hair that can be wrapped around your head with bobby pins. The crystal part of it means that it costs hundreds of dollars.

I was surprised to find out how much it cost. I hadn’t been expecting that. After a quick search on Etsy.com and Ebay.com, I found this company, Live Love Bead, which makes “crystal inspired designs.” That is to say, affordable designs.

The one I ordered lasted through a styling test and the wedding day. It only lost one crystal in the end and I hope to find an occasion to wear it again. I’m open to invitations.

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Forget the Ring Pillow…

We did not have a traditional ring bearer or a ring pillow. Instead, my great Aunt Dora (101 years old) held the rings and the Chief Wonderful Woman, Dr. Yasmin Chaudhri, brought the rings to the judge during the ceremony. 

My groom has noted in earlier posts that traditions help to solve problems. In the case of the rings, the pillow solves the problem of keeping the rings safe and un-lost.

When I searched for options other than a frilly pillow, I discovered ring bowls. I fell in love with the idea. We ordered a ring bowl from Paloma’s Nest on Etsy and had it customized with phrases from our vows, “I promise / You are” etched into the bowl.

The bowl comes with a string that we used to tie the rings together. Right now, the bowl sits on our dresser drawer and keeps our rings safe at night. We might decide to hang it on our Christmas tree this December or frame it.

Thank you, Paloma’s Nest, for crafting a piece for our wedding that we can keep using.

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Legally Bound. Under Law.

My husband and I married one week ago this weekend. We probably won’t know for years what the ceremony and union ultimately signify for us. Immediately, however, we were joined legally. I have the pink, temporary marriage certificate to prove it. 

Since noon last Saturday, I have felt both completely different and exactly the same.

We have been slowly committing to each other throughout the last three and half years. Moving in together in a state neither of us had ever lived in before was a big step. We learned more about each other’s habits and lifestyles. Since we’d been long distance for two years and spent chunks of time essentially living together in each other’s apartment, nothing was shocking. 

For this reason, as I looked into his eyes and we said our vows before our closest friends and family, I knew I was marrying my best friend. Someone I trust, love and know.

When we walked out of the center of the circle as a married couple, I was jubilant. Simply jubilant. I knew that we were not only bound by our emotions, but also by a legal and public commitment. We had made a public vow to care for each other and our union throughout our lives. This vow would be recognized by our government.

I like calling him “my husband.” I like being a part of an institution that allows others to know and understand our relationship without question (of course, if I had taken his surname, this would have been more obvious.) I like that I could be on his health insurance. I like that we can hold hands in public.  

“Society” wanted us to marry. The word “society” is a vague one that often serves as a crutch. However, I think you understand, without labels, who I mean when I write that “society” did not always approve or recognize our relationship when we were living together as an unmarried couple. When we stayed in hotel rooms with one bed. When we accompanied each other to the doctor. We are lucky that our “society” only took it that far, considering what happens in other, less forgiving “societies.” 

We did not marry in order to please this or any other “society.”

We got married because it was important to us to share our vows of love publically and be bound legally.

I recently wrote an essay on this subject and a friend reading it noted that I sounded defensive. Perhaps. I feel compelled to explain myself to those who vote against gay marriage or see marriage as only a religious sacrament instead of a civil right with legal implications. 

For these and related reasons, we asked my husband’s friend Dr. Jonathan Ladd to read this during our ceremony:

Goodridge v. Massachusetts Dept. of Public Health

By Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall

Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects.

 Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

 

We are not the first couple to include part of Chief Justice Marshall’s statement in their ceremony. We will certainly not be the last.

May all consenting adults be allowed to marry and experience our jubilance, publicly and under law.

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Countdown: I do

The Big Day is here! I can hardly believe it.

Was I able to sleep after all? Mostly…

I am meeting the Wonderful Women at my parents’ house at 6:30 am (the only downside to an afternoon wedding) to start hair and makeup with the stylist. Then… onto the venue. 

You know, more or less, what happens next.

How do I feel? Excited and lucky to be marrying the man of my dreams. Practicing our vows last night on the side of the ceremony room with our judge moved me to tears.  

I also feel a little fancy. I’ve never been pampered like this. 

I know that as long as we get married today, nothing can go wrong. We’ve worked out all of the details and if something doesn’t go as planned, no one will notice.

We will be going on a “Mini-Moon” after the wedding, so I promise to update you on the wedding itself next week, when I’ll be posting as a married woman.

 I like the sound of that.

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